How to help aging parents without derailing your own financial plan

Allworth financial advisor Lynda Tu explores practical steps to help aging parents financially, emotionally, and logistically without compromising your own financial future.

 

Supporting aging parents is one of life’s most meaningful—and challenging—responsibilities. For those facing this reality, it often means balancing the needs of loved ones while trying to stay on track with personal financial goals. It’s not always something we see coming, and when it does, it can feel overwhelming. How do you provide the care and support your parents need without jeopardizing your own financial future? The good news is that with thoughtful planning, you can navigate this challenge without sacrificing your financial well-being. Here are some practical steps to navigate this phase of life.

Start the Conversation Early

Talking about money with your parents can feel awkward—maybe even a little intimidating—but it’s a conversation that needs to happen. The earlier you talk, the better prepared you’ll be for whatever comes next.

Start by asking gentle, open-ended questions about their current situation:

• Do they have savings or retirement income to cover their needs?
• Have they made plans for healthcare or long-term care?
• Are important documents like a trust, will, power of attorney, or health care directive in place?

Approaching these questions with care and respect can help ease any tension and set the stage for a productive discussion. It’s not about taking control; it’s about understanding where they stand and how you can work together.

2. Know Your Limits—and Stick to Them

It’s natural to want to help your parents financially, but it’s also important to protect your own financial well-being. Before jumping in, take a good look at your budget and figure out how much you can realistically contribute without putting your retirement or savings goals at risk.

Remember, helping doesn’t always mean money. You might provide support by helping them organize their finances, find local resources, or manage their bills. Sometimes, time and attention can be just as valuable as financial assistance.

3. Tap Into Available Resources

You don’t have to carry the burden alone. There are many resources available to help aging parents, often at little or no cost:

• Government Programs: Look into Social Security benefits, Medicare, Medicaid, and veteran programs if applicable. These can cover many essential expenses.
• Community Organizations: Many communities offer services like meal delivery, transportation, and senior activity centers.
• Long-Term Care Insurance: If your parents have a policy, make sure you understand what it covers and how to use it.

By taking advantage of these resources, you can ease some of the financial strain on everyone.

4. Don’t Neglect Your Own Financial Plan

While it’s easy to focus on helping your parents, it’s critical to keep your own financial health front and center. After all, the better your financial foundation, the more you’ll be able to help in the long run.

Here’s how to stay on track:

• Keep contributing to your retirement and investment accounts, even if it feels tempting to scale back.
• Maintain an emergency fund for unexpected expenses.
• Plan for your own long-term care needs. Watching your parents navigate this stage of life might inspire you to put your own plans in place.

It’s okay to prioritize your financial future. Think of it as ensuring you’ll never have to rely on your children for support down the road.

5. Bring in the Professionals

This is a lot to handle on your own, and there’s no shame in asking for help. A financial advisor can help you create a plan that balances your needs with your parents’ situation. They can also offer strategies to maximize tax benefits, like deducting medical expenses you cover for your parents or using a Dependent Care FSA if you qualify.

An estate planning attorney can also help your parents organize important documents, which can make things much easier for everyone down the road.

6. Take Care of Yourself

Let’s face it—supporting aging parents isn’t just a financial challenge. It can also take a toll emotionally and physically. Make sure you’re checking in with yourself regularly and reaching out for support when you need it. Whether it’s leaning on siblings, joining a caregiver group, or just making time for activities you enjoy, caring for yourself is just as important as caring for your parents.

7. Navigating the “Sandwich Generation” Challenge

If you’re juggling a career, caring for aging parents, and supporting children at the same time, you’re part of what’s often called the “sandwich generation.” It’s a lot to handle, and finding balance is key.

Here are some ways to manage this unique situation:

• Prioritize and Delegate: Determine which tasks require your attention and what can be outsourced or shared with siblings, other family members, or professionals.
• Leverage Workplace Benefits: Many employers offer caregiver support programs, flexible work schedules, or resources through employee assistance programs. Take advantage of these options to ease the burden.
• Time Block for Your Priorities: Set aside dedicated time for caregiving, work, and self-care to ensure you’re not overwhelmed by competing demands.
• Set Boundaries: Learn to say no to tasks or commitments that stretch you too thin. Prioritizing your own health and well-being ensures you can continue to care for others effectively.

By creating a strategy for balancing these responsibilities, you can care for your loved ones while still making time for your career and personal goals.

Conclusion: Support Without Sacrifice

Helping your parents navigate aging can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to do it at the expense of your own financial future. With open communication, thoughtful planning, and the right resources, you can strike a balance that works for everyone.

If you’re unsure how to get started, let’s chat. Together, we can create a plan that helps you provide for your parents while protecting your goals.

Lynda Tu

Financial Advisor

After my family left Vietnam, to start from scratch in America, my parents were very conscientious about what they spent money on. However, they always prioritized helping my brother and me, while putting their own needs on the back burner. In their unspoken gestures of sacrifice and giving to others, I discovered my own sense of what it means to serve others. A commitment that I continue to hold close to my heart, as I work to help my clients regain their time, feel well cared for, and ultimately experience the peace of mind they deserve.

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