Tips for talking about money with family

Allworth financial advisor Renee Nenninger provides practical and empathetic tips for having meaningful, open conversations about money with family members, helping to reduce tension and foster trust.

 

Money can be a tricky topic to discuss, even with the people we care about most. Whether it’s talking with your adult children about inheritance, helping a grandchild with college expenses, or simply sharing your plans for retirement, these conversations can feel uncomfortable or even intimidating. But they don’t have to be.

Open and honest communication about finances can bring families closer, ease future uncertainties, and ensure everyone is on the same page. Let’s talk about how you can approach these discussions with confidence and care.

1. Start with Your Values, Not Numbers

When money conversations feel daunting, grounding the discussion in your values can help ease the tension. Share what’s important to you—whether that’s ensuring your family is cared for, leaving a legacy, or supporting a specific cause.

For example, instead of diving straight into the details of an inheritance plan, you might say, “It’s important to me that the savings I’ve worked hard to build can support our family for generations. I’d like to talk about how we can make that happen together.”

By focusing on the “why” behind your decisions, you’re creating a safe and thoughtful space to begin the conversation.

2. Choose the Right Time and Place

Money conversations are rarely successful when they’re rushed or tacked onto another event. Choose a time when everyone involved is relaxed, and the setting is private and distraction-free.

For bigger discussions, like estate planning or long-term financial support, you might consider scheduling a dedicated family meeting. Let everyone know ahead of time what you’d like to discuss so they can come prepared. A clear, calm environment helps set the tone for productive and respectful dialogue.

3. Be Honest and Transparent

Honesty is key to building trust in financial conversations. Be upfront about your goals, concerns, and plans, and invite your family members to do the same.

For example, if you’re concerned about how gifting money to a child might affect your retirement savings, share that openly. You could say, “I want to help you with this, but I also need to make sure my finances stay secure for the long term. Let’s figure out a solution that works for both of us.”

Being transparent about your intentions and limitations shows that you’re committed to finding a balance that supports everyone’s needs.

4. Make It a Conversation, Not a Lecture

It’s important to approach these discussions as two-way conversations, not top-down instructions. Encourage your family members to share their thoughts, feelings, and questions.

If you’re talking with adult children, ask for their input on what financial transparency means to them. If you’re discussing inheritance, invite feedback about how your plans align with their own goals. By listening actively, you’re showing that their perspective matters and building a stronger foundation of mutual understanding.

5. Use Professionals as Mediators

For more complex or sensitive financial topics, bringing in a neutral third party can help take the pressure off. A financial advisor, estate planner, or mediator can facilitate discussions, answer questions, and provide guidance in a way that feels fair and objective.

For example, if you’re creating a will or trust, scheduling a meeting with an advisor can help ensure your family understands the plan and feels comfortable with how it’s set up. Professionals can also help explain complicated topics, like taxes or retirement distributions, in a way that’s clear and easy to understand.

6. Focus on the Long-Term Benefits

Talking about money isn’t just about resolving immediate questions or decisions—it’s about setting your family up for long-term success. Emphasize how these conversations can bring clarity, reduce future misunderstandings, and strengthen your family’s bond.

For instance, you might say, “I know these conversations aren’t always easy, but I want to make sure everyone is comfortable with our plans and that there are no surprises down the road. This is about keeping our family strong and united.”

When you frame the discussion as a way to protect and support your loved ones, it’s easier to find common ground.

7. Don’t Wait Until It’s Urgent

One of the most common mistakes families make is waiting too long to talk about money. Starting these conversations early ensures that you have time to explore options, address concerns, and make thoughtful decisions together.

Even if you’re not sure where to begin, taking small steps—like sharing your goals for retirement or discussing your plans for long-term care—can open the door to deeper conversations.

Final Thoughts: Make Money Conversations Meaningful

Talking about money with family isn’t always easy, but it’s one of the most meaningful conversations you can have. By approaching the topic with honesty, empathy, and a willingness to listen, you can create an environment of trust and collaboration that benefits everyone.

If you’re not sure how to start or want to ensure these conversations are supported by a clear financial plan, I’m here to help. Together, we can create a roadmap that gives you confidence and peace of mind—so you can focus on what matters most: your family.

Renee Nenninger

Financial Advisor

I became a financial advisor to help those around me feel at ease and at peace with their decisions. It’s important to me that clients know I’ve covered all the bases, so they feel completely unburdened in their financial life. I find it incredibly rewarding to see those anxieties and worries transform into understanding, calmness, and peace of mind.

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